The Transporter Clone's Medical Checkup (Backpost) (Part 2)

Posted on Thu Apr 23rd, 2026 @ 10:34pm by Lieutenant "Joliet" Jane Cooke & Lieutenant Maki Nishikino 'Bones'
Edited on on Thu Apr 23rd, 2026 @ 10:34pm

1,139 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: All Our Yesterdays
Timeline: After 'The Transporter Clone's Medical Checkup (Part 1)'

Previously, on Star Trek: Starbase Frontier:

"Yes, that would be me." Jane called out, standing up.

And now, the continuation:

"Right this way, please, Lieutenant," the doctor motioned, not even bothering with the usual pleasantries outside of what was absolutely required of her. "Standard onboarding protocol, just gotta ask a few questions, take a few samples, and then we'll have you cleared for duty."

"Hopefully, these will be the last samples anybody needs to take of me for a long time." Jane remarked with a sigh as she allowed herself to be led into sickbay.

"Well, protocol's a little different for quantum duplicates," the doctor explained. "Due how little we still know about them, our policy requires us to take regular blood samples to ensure there's no abnormalities in their genetic makeup. Other than that, our screening procedures are pretty much par for the course."

"How regular are we talking about when we say regular here?" Jane pressed. "Because ever since I stepped off that ride on Risa, I've been treated like a damn lab rat, and all I want to do is get back to doing the job I joined Starfleet to do."

"Relax, we're only going to be asking for a blood sample from you once every two months," the doctor assured her as she led Jane over to an empty bio-bed. "It's not like we're putting you on a treadmill or making you run some giant hamster wheel or some weird shit like that..."

"Oh, sure, it starts innocently enough." Jane remarked sarcastically. "Then you suddenly need more data than just blood tests. You need to study my stamina, my endurance. Honestly what is so entertaining about a transporter duplicate anyhow? You will find nothing in those blood tests that sets me apart from a normal human like you! ...Sorry, you are Human, right?"

the Doctor shot her a weird look. "I'm human, yes."

"Good, didn't want to assume so when Human-adjacent species exist." Jane said, climbing up onto the biobed. "Anyway, don't take my word for it, if you must take blood samples, go ahead, but you'll find out it's pointless after two, maybe three tests. And surely, you can ask your friends at Starfleet Medical, who have already taken enough of my blood, for their samples that you can cross-reference. Hopefully you Starfleet Medical zealots can get your fascination with me out of your system quickly, and I can go back to doing my job."

the doctor's expression darkened. "Well, Little-Miss-Know-It-All, perhaps when you've spent the past 3 decades majoring in the medical field, we can talk about this on an even footing; but until that time, protocol dictates that you've gotta submit a blood sample once every two months, or I will be personally dragging you in here kicking and screaming; got it?"

"I'll keep your endless fascination with me in mind next time somebody takes you hostage." Jane replied, crossing her arms. "Anyone who thinks that I'm just their lab rat will get what they have coming for them, and that's the long and short of it."

"Good, then I guess that makes two of us," the doctor grumbled as she took a sip directly from the pot. "Right, then, let's get the questionnaire out of the way first, and then we can get straight to the bloodwork: Within the last 14 days, have you experienced any new or worsening symptoms? Fever, headache, nausea, vomitting, diarrhea, and the like?"

"Not since the last scientists to study me cleared me for duty." Jane responded.

"Do you have a family history of medical and/or psychological problems?"

"My grandpa had a triple bypass surgery at 57. There is a genetic risk for heart disease in men in my family." Jane explained. "Fortunately, I got tits, so I don't have to worry about it."

"Are you taking any prescription medications, over-the-counter medications, vitamins, and other various supplements?"

"Just a daily vitamin D3 supplement, 2000 IU, and the occasional sleep aid."

"Have you had any major procedures, illnesses, or other unexplained medical phenomena from the point of duplication?"

"The hospital on Risa ran tests on me, Starfleet Medical ran tests on me... Everything that was done, I was told was standard procedure."

"Do you have a family history of allergies, and have these allergies been better or worse for you from the point of duplication?"

"Just the usual environmental allergies. Far as I'm aware, the duplication hasn't any any effect on them, positive or otherwise."

"Have you, at any point before or after duplication, used any kind of narcotics or other illicit substances?"

"Well, let's see... I did have some Romulan Ale at Marion's bachelorette party." Jane remarked. "And before you report me to security, let me remind you that I am security."

"Have you, at any point before or after duplication, engaged in sexual activities?"

"Yes, do you want to know the consistency of the cream pies?"

The doctor shot her the stink eye. "I think I'll take a pass."

"Good," Jane nodded. "It's bad enough you're getting my blood on a bi-monthly basis, so I'd rather not go into detail on how I've been cream pied."

"Frankly, I don't need to know about the fact that someone ejaculated into you at all," the doctor sighed as she set the pot down in order to retrieve her tricorder. "Right, so that's the basic questionnaire out of the way; now, if you'll hold still for just a sec..."

"Ow..." Jane flinched after feeling a slight prick on her neck. "Really starting to despise hyposprays here..."

"See? That wasn't so hard," the Doctor replied. "Now, what's gonna happen is that we're going to send this sample off to the labs for further analysis; if any of my lab technicians observe anything that may potentially be of concern, they'll inform me and I will subsequently call you in for additional tests; bear in mind, that's probably going to be unlikely, but if we need you for whatever reason, I will personally inform you, got it?"

"See? That's what I've been trying to say." Jane said.

Maki nodded and made some notes on her PADD. "Right, so other the usual prescriptions, I think that covers all our bases. Anything else you wanna share before I let you off the hook?"

"Yes, where can I leave you a one-star review, Doc?" Jane asked.

"Healthgrades," Maki retorted sarcastically. "And just because you're gonna dunk on my practition doesn't mean you're getting out of your follow-up, got it?"

"Just for that, forget the stupid review." Jane grumbled. "It's not even worth my time..."

A Mission Post By

Lieutenant "Joliet" Jane Cooke
Chief Security/Tactical Officer
Starbase Frontier

Lieutenant Maki "Bones" Nishikino
Chief Medical Officer
Starbase Frontier

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